When Does it Begin? What will I Say To Her?… Reflections from The Pool

The sun is shining. Thank god we finally have a real summer day. 90 degrees, dry air, so hot if you are not at the pool you are not outside. Olivia, Francine and I head to the pool. This is definitely the summer I get to see if they finally have what it takes to hang at the pool. Wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, pack a lunch, swim, eat lunch and swim some more until it is dinner time, hang at the pool.

Bathing suits were everywhere. Duh we were at the pool. You know not many of us actually look good in a bathing suit. We can only be lucky enough to find a bathing suit that will hide some of our flaws. A suit that will hide just enough of our flaws so we feel good enough about ourselves to be at the public pool.

Still more bathing suits. Some of them really cute. Some of them really cute, but not cute or even flattering on the person wearing it. You know there are only a hand full of women that after say 30 and/or kids look good in a bikini. I often wonder do they know how they look in that suit? Is their body image off? Do they just want to wear the suit because they like it and they do not care how it looks on them? Doesn’t anyone that loves them tell them it is not flattering on them?
Bathing suits and body image began to make me think. Bathing suit shopping is never easy. My girls still have their boy like figures, no curves, still a baby fat pooch that comes and goes with each growth spurt. Never do we have to give a second thought in how they will look in the suit only what is the cutest one we can find. What would I say to one of my daughters if they were not so trim? When will my girls start to worry about how they look in a swim suit? What do moms say to their girls when they reach that stage when the baby fat starts to impact how clothes fit? How do moms balance ensuring their girls have a healthy self image but educate their young girls on what looks best on their body type?
Olivia: “Mommy, there is sand on my hand.”
Me: “Yes, that’s what happens when you play in the sand. Do you want to go back and play in the pool?”
Olivia: “Yeah!!!! Lets go do kicks!!”
Four hours later Olivia and Francine had proven to me that we were more then ready to hang out at the pool this summer. Towel dried, pink cheeked and still with a little smear of peanut butter on her face from lunch we were ready to leave. We were happy, exhilarated, excited for more pool days and exhausted! (Francine just barely made it to the edge of the parking lot awake) And for now we will embrace who we are without question and enjoy the the pool. Questions will come soon enough!

Summer Camp Rehab

Going into fifth grade I was still a thumb sucker.  I wasn’t a walking around with my thumb in my mouth thumb sucker.  I was at night in bed, sneak and thumb suck, thumb sucker.  Summer meant summer camp and I was still a thumb sucker.  It was never something that caused me crippling embarrassment, but I was smart enough to know that fifth graders did not freaking suck their thumbs.

First night came.  We all did our evening routines.  Shower, brush teeth, PJs on and into bed.  I had the top bunk.  I reminded myself that I would need to be careful.  I would need to be careful not to fall out of bed!  I would also need to be careful no one saw me getting my fix… my thumb sucking fix.  Lights out.  Wait for it.  It was safe.  Thumb in. Oh the guilt, the internal pressure.  Would someone see me?  Would someone see me or catch me sucking my thumb?  What would I do if they caught me?

Morning came and no one was any the wiser.  Feeewwwwwffff, addiction fed and no one is on to me.  I may have snored that night and may have drooled a bit, but those were minor.  I had gotten my thumb sucking in.

Why did I feel so incredibly guilty?  Could it be the fact I was in fifth grade and I still sucked my thumb?  Possibly I was scared shit-less someone would discover my secret? Maybe it was because this was a church sponsored camp and we were here to work on ourselves?  Perhaps it was the sheer fact that I needed to get my ass in gear and STOP SUCKING MY THUMB!

The second and third nights came.  I didn’t.  I did not put my thumb in my mouth!!   The fifth day  was my last day at camp.  My mom came to pick me up. I was over the moon proud of myself.  I had kicked my addiction.  Putting my things in the car, the drive home, stopping for lunch, unpacking my duffel bag… I didn’t tell her about my personal victory.  I was no longer a thumb sucker and it was my happy secret.



This post was inspired by Mama Kat’s Pretty  
Much World Famous Writer’s Workshop