I Relaxed!! No I Relaxed!!… It’s All in the Perspective

The garage door motor grinds as it opens.  The clock tells me it is my husband coming home from work.  Sitting at the kitchen table clicking away on the keyboard of my lap top I briefly consider that I probably should get off my a** and start dinner.  It is after all a swimming lesson night and that means less time to make dinner and eat it.  The girls are sprawled out on the couch, arms dangling off the side, eyes glazed over, still in their PJs.  The door opens and my husband’s “ I’m so happy to be home and see all my girls, I’ve missed you face” turns to a scowl of anger.

I had done NOTHING ALL DAY!!!!  WE had done NOTHING ALL DAY!
 
Sunday afternoon we arrived home from a weekend of camping.  It was Francine and Olivia’s first camping experience.  My dad was so happy and so excited to introduce another generation of our family to camping and to Point Beach State Park (our most favorite camping place… lost of family history. More to come on that later).  The girls had a wonderful weekend full of new experiences, adventure and unplugged family time.  It was wonderful.  I WAS EXHAUSTED… drag me to the door, take me out of the oven, sucked the life out of me… DONE!  
 
The hubs had not gone camping with us.  It just isn’t his thing (although we are working on him).  While I am sooo happy that the girls had a fantastic time, I did not get a break.  Being four and five years old they still are not completely independent.  Camping with them (though my fantastic, fabulous, kiss your feet sister and her hubs were with us and helped a lot) means: we go to the bathroom together, we shower together, we slept on the same blow up matress together, we sat by the fire together, we read together (they can’t just sit around the fire and read… they can’t read), we played board games together.  It was 24/7 me and Francine and Olivia!

I WAS EXHAUSTED!!!
 
My husband was furious.  Furious that nothing was put away from our trip.  Furious that the kitchen he had cleaned while we were gone was messy again.  Furious that dinner was not made.  Furious that I had done NOTHING!!!  In between the whirl wind of trying to get my a** in gear, trying to make dinner before swimming (did not happen… another thing for him to be furious about) and getting girls ready for swimming I tried to defend myself and explain that I just needed a day to do nothing.  I’M EXHAUSTED.  
 
“You had the entire weekend to yourself.”, I said.  
 
Daggers came shooting from his eyes.  
 
“I don’t consider a whole weekend by myself fun!” 
 
“Sh*t I would.  I would pay for that”, I think.
 
“Are you mad because we just got back from a vacation and I did nothing today?” I say to him.
 
Walking up the stairs he turns, looks at me and gives me the smile, head nod, shoulder shrug that means, “ Well yeah!” 
While he thought I was on vacation, spending time with family, sitting around the camp fire and doing hardly anything, relaxing … I thought he was sitting at home doing nothing, spending time alone in a quiet house, doing, eating, watching whatever he wanted, relaxing all by himself.  

Perspective is such an interesting thing.  
                                                                                             
“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.” 
                                                                                John Lubbock

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8 Replies to “I Relaxed!! No I Relaxed!!… It’s All in the Perspective”

  1. Bahaha! Awesome! I would pay for a weekend by myself anyway. I’d sit around in my underwear and watch Mad Men/True Blood whilst drinking wine!!!

  2. That sounds so much like my husband, I think they might be twins. I make sure I’m OFF the computer before he walks in the door 😉

  3. He didn’t like being alone? My husband loves when I leave town. He declares the house a pants-free zone. Until he runs out of pre-prepared meals.

  4. OMG! Mine thinks that I have an awesome life wherein I SAH and cart my nearly 2 year old with me everywhere! He has said to me “But you get to go to the zoo and out to lunch all the time”…yes, well…both of those things tend to lose their lustre when you are losing your mind chasing a toddler. Perspective, indeed!

  5. Next time, send him camping! Chris would totally see the camping trip as relaxing while I would pay for a weekend alone. The toddler & I were gone for a week and he got so bored he painted two bathrooms & stained the deck.

    Yeah, both of us were exhausted.

  6. Hello,
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