It is dark. Deep breathing from the king sized bed and the end of one of his favorite crime drama movies shouting from the TV tell me it is very late. The glow of the TV dances as its reflects off the surface of my smart phone. Where do I begin? All I can do is stand there. Stand there in the middle of the room…in the dark… by myself. My hand drops to my side. The slow lose of normal breathing is partnered with a rapid heart beat. My breathing gets faster. Slowly it starts to feel as if I am blow up a balloon that do not exist.
Report due Tuesday. Still need to finish typing it.
Don’t forget to make sure the check is in Olivia’s back pack.
Report due Thursday too. Another two hours of work.
Don’t forget to make sure everyone is there.
Don’t forget to call Olivia’s teacher to touch base.
Post due Wednesday.
What was I thinking.
Don’t forget to make sure everything is in place for Tuesday’s lesson.
Don’t forget to tell hubby about window guy.
Post due Wednesday.
Try to watch a movie on night this week with husband.
Tomorrow is bath night for the girls.
Have to remember so make lunches for them on Turesday night.
Post due Wednesday…Post due Wednesday…Post due Wednesday…
My breathing is no longer my own as my heart beat thumps even faster in my chest.
My thoughts begin to loop.
When will I have time to do it all? I can make a list. I’ll write it all down. If I can see the due dates maybe I’ll feel better. I can write the report on Monday night. Maybe if I work through lunch all week I’ll stay caught up. I could trade post dates with someone. How many nights could I stay up late and still be able to get through the week? How am I going to do it all? I can’t do it all? I won’t be able to do it all? There is no way. Who can do this?
Everything starts to pile on me. Its weight continues to take the air from my breath. The thought of each unchecked item starts to surround me. What will I do?
Wait just a second… Wait! When is my post due?
Oh it’s not for two weeks!
It certainly does not happen often, but it has been lately. The cool, calm, positive, I can handle just about anything… has been freaking out! In my world I am surrounded by strong, amazing women who navigate motherhood without breaking a sweat and work a forty hour week somewhere in between. We all think that everyone is so good at it. Everyone has it all together. Well we do not and I am pretty certain none of us do at one point or another. Sometimes we freak out because most of the time we are all just barely keeping it together.
Take time to talk to your girls friends. Check in with them. Talk about your days and share your lives. You’ll be surprised at how hard it is for all of us. None of us are alone!
I am writing, posting and linking up to share my voice.
I am doing my part to carry the weight of confidence, empowerment and sharing the mission of empower, inspire and remind women, parents and children that the time has come to celebrate themselves…ourselves… myself!
This Just.Be.Enough Post was inspired by
It’s your turn now…
*Next Weeks Theme:
“Something I do not regret…“
(Remember you can also write on a topic of your choice.)