Today I am joining up with the Write On Edge Community: Red writing Hood
Today’s prompt…challenge:
- The conversation should be between two people/characters.
- Using surroundings, body language, visual cues and blocking, in addition to the spoken words, show us who they are and what their relationship is without coming out and telling us!
……
A pea sized dollop of sparkly blue toothpaste sat on the light pink Little Mermaid tooth brush. Her tired body leaned on the bathroom counter as she looked at it. Her gaze began to gloss over as seconds passed.
“Coooooommmmmeeeeee on “ she shouted to her. “We do this every night. Lets go!”
“I’m coming,” she sassed back like she was practicing to be a teenager.
“We do this every night! Let’s go,” she pointed to the waiting toothbrush. “Do you want me to brush or you?”
“I’ll do it,” she confidently responded. Like there was every really any question about who would do it.
“Wait! How is that tooth doing?”
Her tongue wiggled through her smile pushing the baby tooth forward. “Still loose,” she giggled proudly.
“Think it might be ready? Let me see.” She bent down to reach her mouth. Pinching the baby tooth in her finger tips she wiggled it forward and backwards.
“Coooooommmmmeeeeee on “ she shouted to her. “We do this every night. Lets go!”
“I’m coming,” she sassed back like she was practicing to be a teenager.
“We do this every night! Let’s go,” she pointed to the waiting toothbrush. “Do you want me to brush or you?”
“I’ll do it,” she confidently responded. Like there was every really any question about who would do it.
“Wait! How is that tooth doing?”
Her tongue wiggled through her smile pushing the baby tooth forward. “Still loose,” she giggled proudly.
“Think it might be ready? Let me see.” She bent down to reach her mouth. Pinching the baby tooth in her finger tips she wiggled it forward and backwards.
“Open your mouth a little bit more for me.”
Her movements loosened the tooth with each movement forward and back. “Does it hurt?”
Her forehead wrinkled and her eyes squinted, “A little.”
“You try,” she requested letting go of the tooth.
Forward, back, forward back, tiny, gentle movements side to side, her little hand wiggled the tooth. “I don’t think it is ready,” she answered looking up to her.
“Let me give it one more wiggle…. Is that OK? Does it hurt a lot?”
“It’s OK. You can try,” she said to her with trusting eyes
Her forehead wrinkled and her eyes squinted, “A little.”
“You try,” she requested letting go of the tooth.
Forward, back, forward back, tiny, gentle movements side to side, her little hand wiggled the tooth. “I don’t think it is ready,” she answered looking up to her.
“Let me give it one more wiggle…. Is that OK? Does it hurt a lot?”
“It’s OK. You can try,” she said to her with trusting eyes
Forward and back, forward and back …
her finger tips felt the pop of a roots last effort to hang on.
The baby tooth dangled from the gum, barely hanging on. Still not letting go.
Forward, back, forward, back…
“OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
DON’T SWALLOW IT!
QUICK SPIT IT OUT!
AAAAHHHHHHHHH!
YOU LOST YOUR FIRST TOOTH!!!”
“OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
DON’T SWALLOW IT!
QUICK SPIT IT OUT!
AAAAHHHHHHHHH!
YOU LOST YOUR FIRST TOOTH!!!”
I really liked this! It was so descrptive, the tooth hanging on, the back and forth of the mom and little mixed with the back and forth of brushing her teeth…it made me feel all the emotions with them, even the excitement at the end. This wa so well done my friend. Yea!!!
I don’t LOL often…this made me LOL and then some.
When 7 & 8 yr old girls have a tooth looose or lose one, it’s exactly like this. Dramatic, talky, and funny. I related to this like you were telling it to me face to face.
Thanks for the great comment you left me for Cinnamon Girl. Give your husband a *fist bump* from me.