A Lesson We Will Not Forget

The clock said 9:30am.

“I suppose I should actually get out of bed,” I thought.

This summer brought a magical gift.  A gift I had only dreamed of.  A gift I thought would never be bestowed on me….the gift of children that sleep in.  Yep! It was 9:30am and both my girls were still asleep.  Feeling a bit guilty for staying in bed that long and wasting so much of the morning (seriously I get to sleep in but now I have to feel guilty for sleeping in. this whole motherhood thing is exhausting)  I rolled out of bed.

“Ahhhh coffee,” I smiled as I walked into the kitchen and turned on the coffee maker.

The first cup always seems to be the best.  As I went to get the creamier out of the refrigerator I paused and remembered that my dad (he lives with us) was at Habitat for Humanity working on a house all day (his hobby…isnt that cool).  That meant he put Kona out in the backyard (Kona is my sisters dog.  She comes to stay with us for a week each summer when my sister is on vacation). Lazily, I peeked out of the kitchen curtain to see if she was on the backyard porch.

“Huh?! No Kona. Maybe she’s still downstairs,” I thought “but I could have sworn I heard my dad leave this morning.  He wouldn’t leave her downstairs by herself.”

Opening the basement door I called, “KOOONNNNAAA come here girl!”

Nothing.

I walked down the basement stairs to double check that she really  was not there.  At the bottom of the stairs I look and look…no Kona.

“Maybe she’s out in the yard and just wasn’t laying on the porch,” I think trying to figure out where the heck she could be.

Back upstairs I go right the kitchen sliding glass door.  I open it and bend to look out.  No sign of Kona.

“KOOONNNAAAA! ”

Nothing.

Scanning the yard for her my eyes stop….the gate…it’s open.  Panic floods me.  Just last night my neighbor and I (during our weekly True Blood viewing session) were talking about how she had lost one of her dogs when it jumped her brothers fence while he watched her dog while she was on vacation. My heart sank.

Oh My GAWWDDDDD Kona is not in the yard!!!

I ran upstairs waking the girls.

“Kona is missing!  Wake up!  We have to go find her!  Go potty and come down stairs we have to start looking for her!” I say delivering orders as I run back downstairs.

I turn to see Olivia walking down the stairs, still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and sporting her usual bed head.

Olivia, “Go open the garage door and look around out front.  See if you see Kona.”  Inside I secretly hope that she will open the garage door and find Kona sitting there just waiting for us to see her.

Rushing back in the house, “Mom!  She’s not there!  I don’t see her anywhere!”

Fighting back the tears and the emotion that is going to make me completely lose thoughts start to flood me…

My sister had trusted me to watch her dog.  How is my sister ever going to trust me to watch her baby if I can’t keep her dog safe?  My sister had trusted me.  Kona was my responsibility. Oh my gawd Kona is missing.  Kona is gone!

I call my neighbor.

“Kona is missing.  She is not in the yard!”  I say though heaving breaths.

“Ok.  I’ll text friends in the neighborhood.  We are awake and well get out there too to look for her,” she offers without hesitating.

“GIRLS!!  Time to go! Get in the car!” I shout.

In the car I finally lose it.  Thoughts continue to fill my head.

Whispering at me, making it all real…”She’s lost.  I lost my sisters dog.  We are never going to find her.  How will I face my sister. Oh my gawd how will I live with myself.”

Closing the door of the car I turn to Olivia and Francine trying to take deep breaths between the blubbering messy sobbing tears.  I manage to get out my words, “Roll down your window.  I am going to drive very very slow.  You need to shout as loud as you can for Kona and you need to look everywhere on your side of the car.  Don’t miss anything, in front of the house, the side of the house, everywhere on your side.”

“Ok mommy,” they say softly with big, wide eyes focused on me.

Breathing in and out I try to regain control of my emotions as we begin our search.

“KONNNAAAA…KOONNNNAAAA…KONNNNNAAAAA!!!!”

First street done. Nothing.  “We are never going to find her.  This is going to be impossible.  She’s gone.  Who knows how long she’s been out of the yard.  It could have been hours,”  negativity start to invade my thoughts again.

We start down the next block.

“KKKOONNNNAAAAA… KONNNAAAAAAA!!!!!”

Suddenly a tall slender gray-haired man appears in the street waving his arm over his head back and forth.

“Is he waving at me?…  He’s waving at me!… He’s waving at me!!!!!”

I roll down the passenger window and say to him, “We are looking for our dog Kona.  She is lost.”

“I have Kona,” he smiles, “She’s in my backyard,” he smiles holding his coffee cup.

Getting out of the car I am suddenly giddy. I fight back happy tears as I realize have no shoes on, I am in my pajama t-shirt and comfy shorts and oh my…my hair.

“I saw her this morning,” he explained pausing to noticing I have no shoes on,” and I didn’t recognize her so I called her over.  She came right to me.  She’s just been hanging out in the back yard.  She’s had a couple of treats.”

“Thank you! Thank you sooooo much!!!! I can’t thank you enough,” I blubber in shock that we found her..he found her.

“Thank you again. Thank you,”  I repeat dying to give him a hug and sob my thanks into his shoulder (don’t worry I resisted that urge.I didn’t totally want to freak out the guy).

Over come by happiness I smile as I take Kona to the car and put her in.  I turn to him and say, “Are you a drinking man?”

“Aren’t we all!” he smiles.

“What’s your drink of choice?”

“Coors Light”

Hundreds of deep breaths later and all of us resting at home, I sit down next to my girls on the couch.

“Olivia turn the TV off Mommy wants to talk to you. Come sit by me.”

“Ok Mommy!”

“Girls Look at mommy.  What that man did for us was incredibly kind.  He stopped and took Kona in so that he could help someone.  He did that to be nice for someone else.  You know when mommy asks you to be polite to other people, when I tell you how important it is to pay attention to others and be thoughtful to others?”

“Yes mommy.”

“Mommy feels very soooo very much that when you are a good person, when you are kind to others good things happen to you and others will do nice things for you when you need them.  Do you understand?”

“We do mommy,” they say in unison with a nod that tells me they really do.

That night, with a case of Coors Light on a kitchen chair next to me, I sat and wrote a thank you card to the man as a tears ran down my cheeks.  I thanked the man for not only giving us our Kona back but for showing my daughters that there are really truly good people out there, good people who will help complete strangers because it is the kind, thoughtful and nice thing to do and that I still could not thank him enough.

Photo Jun 28, 2 34 44 PM
back home safe and sound

Her First

Today I am joining up with the Write On Edge Community: Red writing Hood
Today’s prompt…challenge:
  • The conversation should be between two people/characters. 
  • Using surroundings, body language, visual cues and blocking, in addition to the spoken words, show us who they are and what their relationship is without coming out and telling us!
……

A pea sized dollop of sparkly blue toothpaste sat on the light pink Little Mermaid tooth brush. Her tired body leaned on the bathroom counter as she looked at it.  Her gaze began to gloss over as seconds passed.

“Coooooommmmmeeeeee on “ she shouted to her. “We do this every night.  Lets go!”

“I’m coming,” she sassed back like she was practicing to be a teenager.

“We do this every night!  Let’s go,” she pointed to the waiting toothbrush.Do you want me to brush or you?”

“I’ll do it,” she confidently responded. Like there was every really any question about who would do it.

“Wait! How is that tooth doing?”

Her tongue wiggled through her smile pushing the baby tooth forward. “Still loose,” she giggled proudly.

“Think it might be ready? Let me see.” She bent down to reach her mouth.  Pinching the baby tooth in her finger tips she wiggled it forward and backwards. 
 “Open your mouth a little bit more for me.”
 
Her movements loosened the tooth with each movement forward and back.  “Does it hurt?”

Her forehead wrinkled and her eyes squinted, “A little.”

“You try,” she requested letting go of the tooth.

Forward, back, forward back, tiny, gentle movements side to side, her little hand wiggled the tooth. “I don’t think it is ready,” she answered looking up to her.

“Let me give it one more wiggle…. Is that OK?  Does it hurt a lot?”

“It’s OK.  You can try,” she said to her with trusting eyes
 
Forward and back, forward and back … 
her finger tips felt the pop of a roots last effort to hang on. 
The baby tooth dangled from the gum, barely hanging on.  Still not letting go.
Forward, back, forward, back…

“OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

DON’T SWALLOW IT!

QUICK SPIT IT OUT!

AAAAHHHHHHHHH!

YOU LOST YOUR FIRST TOOTH!!!” 

                                                                                                                                                                   

Go Multiply

We had gotten all the tests done. All our paper work was in order and complete. The tile floor looked like all other gray flaked linoleum floors of all the other doctors offices we had been in.

“I wonder what she is going to tell us?”

I moved close to him. My arm rested snugly on his thigh. He softly held my hand channeling support and love. He didn’t know what the doctor would say either.

Getting pregnant was not our problem. Keeping the pregnancies was. Four years of hopeful positive pregnancy tests intertwined with heart wrenching miscarriages had taken away all the happily ever after of this fairytale. The reality of pregnancy was depressingly painful.

“I gave her all the papers, right? She has copies of all the tests. I made sure our doctors office sent it all to them.” I said to him.

My eyes told him he had to say yes, even if he wasn’t really sure.


“Yes. I’m sure she is just looking through them and then she will have an answer for us.” He replied.

The doctor walked into the room. Our attention was hers.


“You need to go multiple,” the doctor said.

Those were her words.


“I can not say you will not have another miscarriage, but there is nothing keeping you to from having kids.”

“Go multiply?” I respond with a questioned smile.

“That’s right,” the doctor said with a smile.

The muted brown carpet showed us the way out of the office. His hand surrounded mine as we walked to our car.

“She said everything was OK with us.” I said with another need reassurance look.

“Yes! Everything is OK with us.”

“She said it could happen again.” I said desperately needing to know what he thought.
“I do not know how much more I can take.” He replied.

My heart sank. His pain became mine too. His eyes said it all. Years of watching me, being there for me and holding me were taking its toll on him. It pained him to go through this, to see me go though it. All I wanted was to be a mother. How much more could I endure? How much more could we endure?
“So what should we do?” I said.

“Well… lets go practice.” He answered with a smirk and a one shoulder shrug.

…and that is just what we did!

Note:We now have two beautiful girls ages 6 and 4.

This Post was inspired bythis weeks Just.Be.Enough theme:
I am writing, posting and linking up to share my voice.
I am doing my part to carry the weight of
confidence and empowerment.
I am sharing the mission of empower and inspire
to remind women, parents and children
that the time has come to celebrate
themselvesourselvesmyself!
It’s your turn now…
*Next Weeks Theme:
One image or symbol that reminds me to Be Enough
(Remember you can also write on a topic of your choice.)


A Letter to My Girls

To My Girls…
Life is an adventure. 
Many of your adventures will be well planned.   You’ll set goals, have clear directions, know what you want and what to expect.  Reaching your destination will bring you great pride and a wonderful sense of accomplishment.

Other adventures will be unwanted.  They will be adventures you cannot plan for.  These may cause you pain, heartbreak, sadness and even delay your trip or stop you in your path.Some of your adventures will be impulsive.  You will take them without thinking or thought.  You destination unknown. They will be unplanned, mysterious and exciting.  

Many of your adventures will be unexpected.  They will be an unplanned moment in your life.  They will not be forced or planned.  They will come to you when you are not expecting them.  They will surprise you, enrich your life and fill your heart in unknown places.

Never be afraid of life’s adventures.

Your strength will drive you towards your destination and get you there when you think you can’t.  Your imagination will take you places others couldn’t see existed and find your way when others are stuck.  Your love of life will allow you to embrace any road you come to and enable you to jump right in to it.  Your attention to detail will help you connect with others, enrich your relationships and help you show others you care about them.   Your helpfulness will allow you connect with others, while your stubbornness will get you through roadblocks others would have given up on.   Your  love of language and easy understanding of words will soar you to places and amazing opportunities.   Your love for your family will ensure that we will always be there to celebrate your good times or hold you when things get rough.

The adventures you planned may not always go exactly the way you want them to. The unwanted adventures will always teach you something unexpected and remind you of your strength.  The impulsive adventures might be the scariest ones but they will also be rewarding and the most fun.  And the unexpected adventures will change your life forever.

This is your unwritten, wonderful, incredible life.  

Grab on tight and jump right in…because the adventure is all yours!

                                                                                                                
 Pictures were taken from  Kindred Adventures on Pinterest.  
 Their original source: moredesignplease.com and speeding-cars-x.xanga.com
This Just.Be.Enough Post was inspired by the
new Just.Be.Enough Weekly Theme
This weeks theme: A Letter to My Child*
I am writing, posting and linking up to share my voice.
my part to carry the weight of confidence, empowerment and sharing the mission of empower, inspire and
remind women, parents and children that
the time has come to celebrate ourselves… myself!
It’s your turn now…
 *Next Weeks Theme: 
“What Fuels You?” 
 (Remember you can also write on a topic of your choice.)

The ‘Eyes’ Have It

It was Monday.  Elena did her usual link up motivational post.  This time she added something… a new something… a special something… an inspiring something.  She added an optional writing prompt for this Monday’s link up: Standing Taller.  It was more than a prompt to me.  I was inspired, I was all in and then it was my mission.  Wait… What does standing taller even mean to me?  How do I stand taller?  What makes me stand taller?  Do I even stand tall?  Do I need to work on standing taller?

It was my favorite day of the work week… The night of the week I get to stop and buy dinner.  The night I don’t have to cook.  I walked into Jimmy John’s to order sandwiches. “Hi welcome to do a Jimmy John’s. What can we get you?”

The girls were fantastic. Olivia crossed off the list and Francine pick things off the shelf.  No fighting, no whining… a small mommy victory, my own personal moment. Walking to the checkout line at the grocery store the cashier warmly says hello to Olivia and Francine. Olivia shies away at first. “You’re with me sweetie. It’s okay to say hi,” I say to Olivia.

I was busy answering e-mails and getting things done on the computer.  I was a machine and my To Do list was quickly dwindling… yeah me!  A colleague at work walked into my room.  She wanted to run some ideas by me and share an exciting new program she was using.  I looked up to say Hi and welcome her in.  I was on a roll… I was getting things done!  I kept working as she started talking.  I nodded, uh-huh uh-huh and I briefly looked up.

Then it all made sense to me.

I started to place my order. My eyes instantly looked to the floor as I talked. Why was I you looking down?  I’m a confident, strong woman with nothing to prove or be intimidated by.  It was the freckin’ Jimmy John’s order guy for goodness sakes. I looked up from the floor and looked him in the eyes. I continued with my order.  My shoulders instantly went back,  my face lit up a bit and my 5’11 frame stood taller.

Olivia shied away.  A mom look and a friendly mom nudge was all it took.  She instantly stood taller, confidently looked the woman in the eyes and said, “Hi”.   A smile quickly came to her face and a hands over her head, 1 foot, spinning ballet twirl showed me how happy she was with herself.

My collegue continues to share.  My head was still in the computer, but I was listening. I stopped. I looked up, closed the computer and looked her straight in the eyes.  A smile came over her face.  Her shoulders went back a little.  My attention was fully hers.

Eye contact can mean so many different things.  Some cultures value it, while some are intimidated or even offended by it.  Families put varying levels of importance on it. To me, this prompt, this challenge, this mission reminded me…My eyes.
The simple act of looking someone in the eyes…
It requires confidence in me, confidence in who am and confidence in what I am saying.  Making good eye contact makes me stand taller.  Most importantly,  eye contact shows people I am confident in myself.  Eye contact shows people we are confident ourselves.   Eye contact shows others they they are important to us.    Eye contact gives us all a little more height.
                                                                                                            
This Just.Be.Enough Post was inspired by the
new Just.Be.Enough Weekly Theme
This weeks theme: Standing Taller*
I am writing, posting and linking up to share my voice.
my part to carry the weight of confidence, empowerment and sharing the mission of empower, inspire and
remind women, parents and children that
the time has come to celebrate ourselves… myself!
It’s your turn now…
Come Share Your Story!!

 *Next Weeks Theme: “I knew I had to…” or your choice

Just.Be.Enough: Happiness

It is MONDAY and time for MY Story…
I am writing, posting and linking up to share my voice.
my part to carry the weight of confidence, empowerment and
sharing the mission of empower, inspire and
remind women, parents and children that
the time has come to celebrate ourselves… myself!
Since I joined the Just.Be.Enough team I have come to look forward to Mondays.  Mondays have become a chance for me to intentionally look forward and make certain I recognize that I Am Enough.  Shirley and I are never short of celebrations.  When it comes to our friendship we just click. It is an unconditional, thoughtful friendship, with a side of  I can read your mind.  Our families keep us busy and motherhood keeps us on our toes,  makes us want to pull out our hair sometimes and keeps life interesting.
This week Olivia started kindergarten. My husband proudly played stay at home dad for the day. I called home during lunch, fighting the tears of pride and terror,  hoping her first day of school  was everything I wanted it to be.  My tears ran down my check as she told me about her great first day of school.

As I entered school, on my first day of school,  new thoughts, unexperienced thoughts, entered my head. Will I connect with this years students like I had so easily in the past?  Would I be able to see their potential and then be able to take them to a version of their future they thought unachievable?   Would this be the year I finally felt teacher burn out?  This would be my 13th year. Wasn’t I supposed to start being done, start not loving my job.

Friday came quickly this week.  I was exhausted.  Lying in bed to watch a movie I was too tired for the #wineparty (yet again).  I fell asleep before the movie title ever made it to the TV screen.

Saturday meant time with my family.  My mom energy was  renewed and my mom game was at its best! I waited for a moment, something, that would spark my Just.Be.Enough feeling.  Nothing!  Then from my unlikely source “Twitter” came Elena.

 
My week was Enough! Enough doesn’t have to come from hardship, trial, hurt or struggle (it most certainly can though). Enough can be life being wonderful.

I locked the door to my classroom on Friday.   A huge smile came over to my face.  I still have it!  I am going to do amazing things this year!  I am in no way near done with this life’s journey.  I am so very happy!  It was a wonderful week!

                                                                                                                        
                                   
Every MONDAY join us… 
Write, Post, Link-Up, share your story and your voice.  
Be part of carrying the weight of confidence, empowerment and share our mission to empower, inspire, and remind 
 women, parents and children
that the time has come to celebrate ourselves! 
 
Bellflower Books will be sponsoring the Be Enough Me Monday link ups for ONE month, starting on August 22nd. For every 20 people that link up with a story of how they lived the Be Enough Me “feeling” that week, Bellflower will donate ONE $75 gift certificate to a family identified by Crickett’s Answer for the creation of a 20-page memory book. We will keep a running total of links over the four Mondays and hope to reach our goal of 120 links,

which would provide TEN Bellflower memory books.

Just.Be.Enough: Usually Unusual Enough

It is MONDAY and time for MY Story…
I am writing, posting and linking up to share my voice.  
As a contributor at JustBeEnough.com I am doing 
my part to carry the weight of confidence, empowerment and 
sharing the mission of empower, inspire and 
remind women, parents and children that 
the time has come to celebrate ourselves… myself!
I have wonderful memories of the outings my dad meaningfully planned with each of us, every year.  He has always taken great pleasure in planning just the right one for each of his daughters and each one meant so much to him.  To spend time with each of us, individually, was done with great effort and purpose!  This summer he decided to give new life to this tradition.  At 36, 34 and 30, my dad decided it was time to start having Daddy Daughter Days with us again.

Friday afternoon, the girls were with Grandma for afternoon.  My Dad and I were on the Blue Line, riding to the Cubs game.  It as standing room only and the “L” car (Elevated Train… for non-Chicagoans) was sprinkled with red and blue.  The Cardinals were in town.  One transfer later we were standing shoulder to shoulder riding the Addison bus on our way to Wrigley.  My Dad was full of conversation, reminiscing and sharing stories.  There was the Veterinary Hospital I worked at in his teens (I’d heard all the stories before, but who was I to stop him! Besides each time he tells the story something new comes out). Next was the story of the man who claimed he could out ride (on a bicycle) a city bus. 
“Some claim to fame!”, I say.  
“Weren’t so many stops and the road wasn’t as busy back then.  He had to have been fast!” Dad says. 
His memory continues to flow as he shows off reciting the buildings on the corners with his back turned to the intersection.  We were in no rush, we had no set plans… I was me and my Day.  Daddy and daughter.
Way, way up to our upper deck seats,  Nose bleed seats we call them.  I was flooded with memories of why I love Wrigley Field.  A couple of beers and a hot dog later, my dad and I spent inning after inning remembering other Cubs games and displayed giddy smiles as the Thunder Birds do fly-bys over the stadium, practicing for the Air and Water Show the next day. 
Bottom of the 8th, the Cubs are down one.  It is my usual Wrigley experience… the Cubs losing.  A base running error in a clutch situation… usual Cubs game experience.  One hit and then another, they were back in the game.  Fifteen games out of first place, tie game in the top of the 10th inning… a less likely Cubs game experience.  Bottom of the 10th, a hit, a sacrifice bunt and a game winning RBI…. CUBS WIN!  
We left the confines singing, “Go Cubs, Go… Go Cubs, Go….” and smiling from ear to ear (can’t say I ever saw my dad sing).  We were relishing in the display of baseball we had seen and basking in the joy that our team had won! (an unusual Cubs game experience for me)

We oozed happiness.  The day could not have ended better.  This day, like most days spent with my dad, was Just.Enough The game, for the Cubs, proved what we long time Cubs fans always know… they are Just.Enough… they just need to start believing it too! 

                                                                                                       
Every MONDAY join us… 
Write, Post, Link-Up, share your story and your voice.  
Be part of carrying the weight of confidence, empowerment and share our mission to empower, inspire, and remind 
 women, parents and children
that the time has come to celebrate ourselves! 

How you have lived the Be Enough Me feeling this week?


Be more the Just.Enough for someone else…

Bellflower Books will be sponsoring the Be Enough Me Monday link ups for ONE month, starting on August 22nd. For every 20 people that link up with a story of how they lived the Be Enough Me “feeling” that week, Bellflower will donate ONE $75 gift certificate to a family identified by Crickett’s Answer for the creation of a 20-page memory book. We will keep a running total of links over the four Mondays and hope to reach our goal of 120 links, 
which would provide TEN Bellflower memory books.

Just.Be.Enough: 8 Miles

I am starting a brand new adventure.  It is an adventure that is so close to my heart,  that I am so passion about and that I am so overwhelmingly terrified and excited about….

“Just.Be.Enough… was founded in July of 2011 by Elena Sonnino. The idea for the site came to her as she was swimming laps, training for a triathlon, thinking about the importance of feeling confident and empowered. 

 

 It all started when she was reading a blog post about accepting ourselves even with our imperfections which led to a link up on her own blog C.Mom asking women to create a Things I Like About Me list. The struggle that followed for many was eye opening. The focus on imperfections and flaws had taken seed and had deep roots that were hard to change. But so many women did. And as a result, they walked taller, felt empowered, and took the Internet by storm. 

 

Just.Be.Enough. will share the stories, the voices, the truths of many. Its mission is to empower, inspire, and remind women, parents, and children that that the time has come to celebrate ourselves. We must. We must carry the weight of confidence and empowerment on our shoulders instead of allowing the burden of our flaws and imperfections to push us down.” About Us www.justbeenough.com 

 

Myself and eight others indescribably Just.Enough women have been overwhelmingly lucky to have the opportunity to share this adventure with Elena.  Every Monday, we will all be joining Elena at www.justbeenough.com to link up and share our story of the week about how you have lived the Be Enough Me feeling this week.  


This week Olivia drove me nuts. 

 
Crying, screaming, yelling, mad, more crying… tantrums. 
 
Olivia is five years old.  

More crying, more tantrums, hitting her sister.
       
I usually don’t go to Twitter vent about moments like this, but I just needed to lay it all out there. Suddenly,  I had two warm, responsive women asking me how old she was and happy to share with me what worked for them and their children.  They kindly shared. Their empathy for my moment reminded me that I was not alone.  

She made me crazy.

The girl made me crazy.

Wednesday came.  The girls and I packed up the backpack with snacks and water, put the jogging stroller in the back of the car and we were on our way to our favorite path by the river for a long walk.  It was a great eight mile walk with the girls in the stroller, the iPod playing our favorite tracks  and me pushing them along.  Two hours later (with a snack in between) and a new quarter sized blisters on my heal,  I smiled as I watch them play at the park.  

Today there was no whining, there was no crying, there was not a single hit,  there were no, “I’m MAD at you! “ or “You’re a MEAN mommy”,  there were no tantrums on the floor. 

There were pleases, there were thank yous,  there were smiles, there was, “Olivia can you help Mommy with this ?” and the response was, “Sure Mommy!”  

This week’s experiences reminded me that I am enough.  I am doing the right things with Olivia.   I do know what I am doing.  It reminded me that Olivia is her own person.  She has her own mind and her own will.  This reminded me that it is her job to grow up.  It’s her job to push me away.  It’s her job to test me and my limits.  It is my job to make her feel safe, give her structure and give her limits.  It is my job to teach her how to deal with these new things, new feelings, new situations, and new experiences.

So, with a little help from some new found friends on an unlikely source I realized that I was going to be enough.  My child, like all children, has her moments.  Sometimes the moment is an hour, sometimes a day and in my case sometimes it is three days, but it just means that they are growing up. So, even if it does make me want to lay on the floor, makes me want to pound my fists and makes me want to cry… I am Just.Enough! 

                                                                    


Every MONDAY join us… 
Write, Post, Link-Up, share your story and your voice.  
Be part of carrying the weight of confidence, empowerment and share our mission to empower, inspire, and remind 
 women, parents and children
that the time has come to celebrate ourselves! 

How you have lived the Be Enough Me feeling this week



We can not wait to hear about it!


Not My Mother’s Daughter

The warm water washed over me and as usual I began to think of all the things I needed to do.  I also started to think of all the things I wanted to do.  It was Saturday and I was told to take more time to myself.  Thoughts of my family began to drift into my head.  My own family.  How lucky I am.  My sisters, my dad and my mom.  My mom….

For eight years my memories of her have brought me sadness, anger and even embarrassment.  She had left this world losing her battle with depression.  The years leading up to her death were more then challenging, exhausting and something daughters should never have to do.  Up until last year if someone said, “Oh you remind me of your mom!” or “That reminds me so much of your mother!!”  I found myself overwhelmed with anger and embarrassment.  

“I was not like her!”, I would exclaim to myself.

Eight years later  it is just a typical Saturday morning. I am so happy with my life, happy with myself and so happy with the mother, wife, friend and women I have become.  I am strong and independent.  I love my job.  I get to go to work everyday and do what I have always wanted to do.  My daughters are polite, articulate, creative and love life.  My house is a lived in clean.  The laundry is done, but not folded.  The floor is scattered with toys and the markers and art work on the kitchen table always have to be cleaned up before dinner.  

I am not like my mother.

Yet,  still I find myself taken by the love and longing for my mother.  I am finally able to get past the wall of anger.  I love my mother.  I miss my mother.  I have always loved my mother.  I hate the illness she had, I hate what it did to her.  I hate what it made me have to do.  

I’m not like my mother.

Today I find myself suddenly in a much different place.  A place where I look back on the memories of my mom and they are fond and loving.   She was the most wonderful mother.  She was loving, gentle, selfless, she loved life and was passionate about being a mother.  Her greatest goal in life was to raise us to be well rounded, happy, successful women.  So today I find myself overwhelmingly happy to be compared to my mom.  Happy to be lucky enough to have many of my moms features.   Blessed to be able to share with my daughters traditions my mother gave me. Smiling that my daughter loves to have her back rubbed the same way my mom rubbed mine.   Lovingly, sharing fantastic stories and memories of my mother with my daughters… and with tears in my eyes and reflecting smile I find myself thinking:  I’m not my mother, but I will always be my mothers daughter.







Post inspired by writing prompt from Mama Kat’s 
Not your mother’s daughter…how do you parent differently than your mother did? 
Is it a good thing or a bad thing?