Category: lessons

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The Importance of Time

I parked the car and saw them sitting at the middle table nearest to the window.  Olivia had just gotten her hair cut, Francine was along for the ride (there was no way she was going to miss anything) and we were at our usual post haircut spot… Noodles (don’t ask me why or how but for whatever reason it has become a post haircut tradition).

Sitting at the middle table was a slicked back silver haired grandfather and a 12 something,  skeleton embellished black and white striped fuzzy lined knit capped wearing teenaged boy. “HUH! That’s an odd looking pair.  I bet that 12 year old can’t wait until that meal is over,” I thought judging by what I saw.

My daughters and I ordered our food.  They got their drinks from their favorite touch a thousand buttons to get to their drink with goofy flavors machine.

“I want ice in mine!” Francine requested as she tip toed to reach the ice button. “I can do it myself Momma!” She smiled reminding me as I lifted her to reach the buttons.

“I don’t want ice in mine,” Olivia declared.

“Ok,” I smiled  hovering my hand under Francine’s cup hoping she wouldn’t spill, while trying not to interfere with her independence and glancing back at Olivia making sure she didn’t overflow her cup.

We found a table and sat down.  As we waited for our food to come we stated to talk.  I asked them what was new with them.  How was school on Friday?  One question lead to talking that led to another question and more talking…The flood gates had suddenly been open. Continue reading “The Importance of Time”

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The ‘Eyes’ Have It

It was Monday.  Elena did her usual link up motivational post.  This time she added something… a new something… a special something… an inspiring something.  She added an optional writing prompt for this Monday’s link up: Standing Taller.  It was more than a prompt to me.  I was inspired, I was all in and then it was my mission.  Wait… What does standing taller even mean to me?  How do I stand taller?  What makes me stand taller?  Do I even stand tall?  Do I need to work on standing taller?

It was my favorite day of the work week… The night of the week I get to stop and buy dinner.  The night I don’t have to cook.  I walked into Jimmy John’s to order sandwiches. “Hi welcome to do a Jimmy John’s. What can we get you?”

The girls were fantastic. Olivia crossed off the list and Francine pick things off the shelf.  No fighting, no whining… a small mommy victory, my own personal moment. Walking to the checkout line at the grocery store the cashier warmly says hello to Olivia and Francine. Olivia shies away at first. “You’re with me sweetie. It’s okay to say hi,” I say to Olivia.

I was busy answering e-mails and getting things done on the computer.  I was a machine and my To Do list was quickly dwindling… yeah me!  A colleague at work walked into my room.  She wanted to run some ideas by me and share an exciting new program she was using.  I looked up to say Hi and welcome her in.  I was on a roll… I was getting things done!  I kept working as she started talking.  I nodded, uh-huh uh-huh and I briefly looked up.

Then it all made sense to me.

I started to place my order. My eyes instantly looked to the floor as I talked. Why was I you looking down?  I’m a confident, strong woman with nothing to prove or be intimidated by.  It was the freckin’ Jimmy John’s order guy for goodness sakes. I looked up from the floor and looked him in the eyes. I continued with my order.  My shoulders instantly went back,  my face lit up a bit and my 5’11 frame stood taller.

Olivia shied away.  A mom look and a friendly mom nudge was all it took.  She instantly stood taller, confidently looked the woman in the eyes and said, “Hi”.   A smile quickly came to her face and a hands over her head, 1 foot, spinning ballet twirl showed me how happy she was with herself.

My collegue continues to share.  My head was still in the computer, but I was listening. I stopped. I looked up, closed the computer and looked her straight in the eyes.  A smile came over her face.  Her shoulders went back a little.  My attention was fully hers.

Eye contact can mean so many different things.  Some cultures value it, while some are intimidated or even offended by it.  Families put varying levels of importance on it. To me, this prompt, this challenge, this mission reminded me…My eyes.
The simple act of looking someone in the eyes…
It requires confidence in me, confidence in who am and confidence in what I am saying.  Making good eye contact makes me stand taller.  Most importantly,  eye contact shows people I am confident in myself.  Eye contact shows people we are confident ourselves.   Eye contact shows others they they are important to us.    Eye contact gives us all a little more height.
                                                                                                            
This Just.Be.Enough Post was inspired by the
new Just.Be.Enough Weekly Theme
This weeks theme: Standing Taller*
I am writing, posting and linking up to share my voice.
my part to carry the weight of confidence, empowerment and sharing the mission of empower, inspire and
remind women, parents and children that
the time has come to celebrate ourselves… myself!
It’s your turn now…
Come Share Your Story!!

 *Next Weeks Theme: “I knew I had to…” or your choice

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When Does it Begin? What will I Say To Her?… Reflections from The Pool

The sun is shining. Thank god we finally have a real summer day. 90 degrees, dry air, so hot if you are not at the pool you are not outside. Olivia, Francine and I head to the pool. This is definitely the summer I get to see if they finally have what it takes to hang at the pool. Wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, pack a lunch, swim, eat lunch and swim some more until it is dinner time, hang at the pool.

Bathing suits were everywhere. Duh we were at the pool. You know not many of us actually look good in a bathing suit. We can only be lucky enough to find a bathing suit that will hide some of our flaws. A suit that will hide just enough of our flaws so we feel good enough about ourselves to be at the public pool.

Still more bathing suits. Some of them really cute. Some of them really cute, but not cute or even flattering on the person wearing it. You know there are only a hand full of women that after say 30 and/or kids look good in a bikini. I often wonder do they know how they look in that suit? Is their body image off? Do they just want to wear the suit because they like it and they do not care how it looks on them? Doesn’t anyone that loves them tell them it is not flattering on them?
Bathing suits and body image began to make me think. Bathing suit shopping is never easy. My girls still have their boy like figures, no curves, still a baby fat pooch that comes and goes with each growth spurt. Never do we have to give a second thought in how they will look in the suit only what is the cutest one we can find. What would I say to one of my daughters if they were not so trim? When will my girls start to worry about how they look in a swim suit? What do moms say to their girls when they reach that stage when the baby fat starts to impact how clothes fit? How do moms balance ensuring their girls have a healthy self image but educate their young girls on what looks best on their body type?
Olivia: “Mommy, there is sand on my hand.”
Me: “Yes, that’s what happens when you play in the sand. Do you want to go back and play in the pool?”
Olivia: “Yeah!!!! Lets go do kicks!!”
Four hours later Olivia and Francine had proven to me that we were more then ready to hang out at the pool this summer. Towel dried, pink cheeked and still with a little smear of peanut butter on her face from lunch we were ready to leave. We were happy, exhilarated, excited for more pool days and exhausted! (Francine just barely made it to the edge of the parking lot awake) And for now we will embrace who we are without question and enjoy the the pool. Questions will come soon enough!
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