mental illness – Carrie Baughcum

You take away everything beautiful their life. You blind them to the glow their life has. You numb them to the warmth, love and joy their life floods them with. Trapped in the darkness you make them immobile unable to move. You trap them while you fill their heads with lies and fear.

I hate you. I hate what you do to friends. I hate what you did to my mother. I hate what you steal from them. I hate the place you take them. I hate how you make them feel.

I hate that I feel helpless against you. I hate that there is nothing I can do to stop you. I hate that I do not know how to help my friends. I hate that that makes me feel useless and helpless. I hate that I my heart aches for them, that I worry for them.

I’ve decided I have spent enough years hating you. Hating what you did to my mother and now hating what you do to friends. I will not hate you anymore. You are a disease. I will do what we do with all diseases, fight!

A note written to a friend.
It was sent to her so she never forgets

I will listen when they need me. I will lend a hand when they need it. Most of all I will remind them of their awesomeness. I will remind them of life, its light and its greatness. I will remind them they are strong. I will remind them they are not the disease. I will remind them it can be beat!

I wrote this post after talking to a friend on the phone. I was so moved and inspired after this conversation with this friend, a friend who fights depression, that I had to write. She inspired this post. The note is written for her. The words are for all of the other men and woman who fight mental illness everyday.

Category: mental illness

I Hate You