We had gotten all the tests done. All our paper work was in order and complete. The tile floor looked like all other gray flaked linoleum floors of all the other doctors offices we had been in.
“I wonder what she is going to tell us?”
I moved close to him. My arm rested snugly on his thigh. He softly held my hand channeling support and love. He didn’t know what the doctor would say either.
Getting pregnant was not our problem. Keeping the pregnancies was. Four years of hopeful positive pregnancy tests intertwined with heart wrenching miscarriages had taken away all the happily ever after of this fairytale. The reality of pregnancy was depressingly painful.
“I gave her all the papers, right? She has copies of all the tests. I made sure our doctors office sent it all to them.” I said to him.
My eyes told him he had to say yes, even if he wasn’t really sure.
“Yes. I’m sure she is just looking through them and then she will have an answer for us.” He replied.
The doctor walked into the room. Our attention was hers.
“You need to go multiple,” the doctor said.
Those were her words.
“I can not say you will not have another miscarriage, but there is nothing keeping you to from having kids.”
“Go multiply?” I respond with a questioned smile.
“That’s right,” the doctor said with a smile.
The muted brown carpet showed us the way out of the office. His hand surrounded mine as we walked to our car.
“She said everything was OK with us.” I said with another need reassurance look.
“Yes! Everything is OK with us.”
“She said it could happen again.” I said desperately needing to know what he thought.
“I do not know how much more I can take.” He replied.
My heart sank. His pain became mine too. His eyes said it all. Years of watching me, being there for me and holding me were taking its toll on him. It pained him to go through this, to see me go though it. All I wanted was to be a mother. How much more could I endure? How much more could we endure?
“So what should we do?” I said.
“Well… lets go practice.” He answered with a smirk and a one shoulder shrug.
…and that is just what we did!
Note:We now have two beautiful girls ages 6 and 4.
This Post was inspired bythis weeks Just.Be.Enough theme:
I am writing, posting and linking up to share my voice.
I am doing my part to carry the weight of
confidence and empowerment.
I am sharing the mission of empower and inspire
to remind women, parents and children
that the time has come to celebrate
themselves…ourselves… myself!
It’s your turn now…
*Next Weeks Theme:
“One image or symbol that reminds me to Be Enough“
(Remember you can also write on a topic of your choice.)
Hi L!
Oh my friend…I am so sorry to hear that infertility touched your life too..that those m/c caused you so much pain and sadness. It makes my knowledge that you are now a mom that much sweeter , that much “more”.
Go and multiply….almost a chant right? A motto, a premonition, a prayer for you to believe. I can’t tell you how happy I am that it came true!!!
Xoxo
Your husband sounds like an awesome support system! Practice makes perfect?!!
And multiply you did 🙂
I am so sorry to hear of your struggles; it must have been very difficult to be disappointed so many times. I am so glad for you that you were eventually blessed to become a mother 🙂